Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

 Came to US eleven weeks ago

 Still confused and lost,

 Looking for paths and searching for ways to go,

 Thinking, how much is not too much..!! 

First time landed in America,

Travelled over 30 hours,

Two sleepless nights, red n puffy eyes,

With pain in my heart of parting away with family

And excited to begin life with new sunrise,
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

Unpacked bags, cooked for self

Living with American roommate n her pets

Culture shock, opposite roads, door knobs, water taps n everything

Stressed eyes got conjunctivitis on 2nd day

Visited doctor with swollen eyes on 3rd day,

Lost way home back, walked for 2 hour in bright sun
 Spent $250 on medicine n prescription
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

2nd week, eyes are getting worse n redMissing orientations and crying at home

Landed up in University with some hope 

Visited optometrist, spending money again 

Blurred vision and crucial department orientation 

Introducing self among senior faculty n director 

Looking at the wall with blurred vision 

Shaking words but unshaken confidence 

Won everyone’s love, heart did musical dance 

Thinking, how much is not too much..!! 

Landed up in restaurant with department colleagues

Meat everywhere, alcohol everywhere

Lost n confused me, smiling n looking nowhere

Being Vegetarian n teetotaler cannot be the curse

Amidst craziness, made friends n pillars of strength
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

3rd week, classes started, workload increased 

Laptop refused to catch internet 

Mom spent days alone at home, I spent days in library to catch up the work 

Tired me, catch city buses to come home at dark
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

Finally, a relaxed weekend, took mom to zoo
Looking at tiger, lion, water species n gorilla, my heart goes vroom..
Realised, mom's ankle got sprained, she limped
I requested, Zoo staff helped
called up taxi, we reached home
It's too difficult to handle all alone
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

Fourth week, mysterious activities in American’s room
Had argument with roommate,
Things become scary n even hate
Mysterious guys n noises at night,
Mom cried n I get fright
Freezing temperature at home, no blanket at our zone
I raised objections, roommate shouted n slammed door

Consulted faculty, sought suggestion

Am I weird, if this is tradition?

Scared me, Thinking, how much is not too much..!!  

Suffocated house become haunted house
May be, drugs or just happening sex
going mad n sought for help
called, visited n pleaded people,
Looking for a new abode is not cakewalk
Waheguru rescued; I got room
Shifted secretly but past still loom
Last day to mom’s India flight
Lease is broken, $280 security forfeit
But, hardly any respite to my plight
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!  

New room, new roommate,
Known to me from Gurudware
Slept two hours to board a morning flight,

drank coffee to my respite

Spent whole day at Newark Airport
dropped mom for her India flight at sunset,
crying like baby, “I soo wana go back to India”
Again slept two hours in the Airport lobby,

morning flight make me lousy

Back at home after 30 hours restless journey
I got this dream after so much yearning
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!  

Missing assignment deadlines,
Missing night sleep
Eating leftover, cooked by mom
Setting my laptop, Setting new room,
hope, life starts like a new bloom
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

8th week, assignment deadline
Toothache at midnight, took anti-biotics and slept
Class presentation next day,
severe toothache again at midnight
Wana kill self, unbearable pain,

took medicine but can't sleep again

Visited health center n gave presentation with painkillers
consulted faculty n visited dentist,
Advised tooth extraction as he can't mend it
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!

9th week, went to Charlotte,
Watched movie, did shopping
Shopped groceries, shopped for home
Shopped warm clothes, need for own
Still converting every dollar to rupee
Need so much, earn so less
This is adding up to my stress
Thinking, how much is not too much..!!


Cooking myself, it’s hectic n therapeutic
Juggling with time, assignment deadlines
Roommate tantrums, creative hangovers

Committed relationship n friends sleep overs,

This girl is nice, she gives me ride…

to school, to store n lot’s more
New liberty, staying away from home

Setting priorities n thinking places to roam 

Thinking, how much is not too much..!!